From ###@###.com Fri Feb 3 14:16:55 1995 From: "Luis F. ###" <###@###.com> Date: Fri, 03 Feb 95 17:11:27 -500 To: email@example.com Hello assmaster, (portions deleted - ed.) I read through your disclaimer, and found it to be as entertaining as the rest of the page. Yes, I did notice the amount of possible-inner-jokes, and I could not do anything but grin at your nicknames. The INTERNET is getting a lot of exposure now that is becoming widely available. A lot of servers are not carying any of the erotica or sex newsgroups, and NNTPSERVERS that used to be open to the public are now closing. This is really shitty, cuz one of the cool things about the INTERNET is the lack of censorship that used to be just a few years ago. It's not so much the sex issue, it's more of the principle of censorship. Any of these days, someone could find about your page, and will pass it along to Justin, at hotwired.com (have you seen his page? He has a pretty complete set of decent links to basically everything). Then you'll be discovered, zillions of people will connect, and you'll start getting hatemail. A lot of obscurantists will forge their e-mail to make it look as if they were sending it from the FBI or other places. Shit, I hate these people.. So what's your story? Did you guys create fatass as an inner joke? What do you and your friends do? You look like a pretty cool bunch. Keep it up, this world is running out of free spirits. Take care, Luis
Dear friend of fatass.com,
Glad you liked the disclaimer. It was written with assistance from a promising intellectual property attorney working at a prominent San Francisco law firm. No kidding-- it can be handy to have old rugby buddies who are lawhawks.
As for potentially inciting the wrath of the Electronic Right, we don't particularly care what they think. We don't even particularly care what we think. It is precisely this lack of appreciation for the thoughts of others that has made this nation the Greatest on the Earth (albeit, the most socially maladjusted).
Admittedly, fatass.com does cater to a select local crowd of folks, the focus of our blatant inside jokes. Nevertheless, we select our pages with care and concern (and, we daresay, maybe even a little Love?) for George and Georgette Internet, hoping that anyone can catch a (possibly lowbrow) chuckle from our friendly jests.
As for the porn (particularly, JP and D-Nice's "Way Dirty Pix" page) our disclaimer makes it clear where we stand. fatass.com does not offer a single pornographic image which originated within our hallowed walls. Not that we have any ethical objection to such activities-- there's just no point, with thousands of smut mongers dumping images onto the net every year. Besides, most of them have better scanners than we do.
As for feigned threats from the FBI, KGB, or even the Fox network, we sigh and shake our collective head. If someone can present sound, convincing reasons for us to censor ourselves (when case law has proven that the government isn't interested in what fatass.com and thousands of others are currently doing) we will. We haven't seen any such convincing arguments to date, and it's unlikely that Mrs. Billy Joe Bob from the Bible Belt will frighten us with letters signed "Bill Clinton". However, we might hesitate if we get something from J. Edgar Hoover...
Our stance is clear. There is a monstrous body of material on the Internet which children shouldn't be looking at or reading. Then again, Dad probably has a monstrous collection of Playboy magazines underneath his garage workbench which kids shouldn't be looking at either. And HBO? USA's made-for-TV movies? The Power Rangers? C'mon... If fatass.com had kids (sadly incapable, as are most Internet domains), it wouldn't let them surf the net unattended. Stick with AOL or Prodigy or Compuserve, which have rational censorship measures in place. And they have considerably more truly educational stuff for kids to be looking at than the Net-At-Large, anyway.
As for the possibility of offending adults-- well, that's silly. Man has had the privilege of self-determination since Aristotle (or was that Voltaire?) and can exercise it simply enough-- stay the hell away from fatass.com. There's nothing offensive on the home page, and don't link beyond it.
Thanks for the letter- we'll keep up the good work,