Steve "Optimal" Gomer and Lady Shannon Harem plan to tie the Gordian knot this Fall. Sources close to the couple confirm anonymous tips that Steve was struck by lightning on the slopes of a Sun Valley resort immediately prior to the long-long-long-awaited proposal. Arnold Schwarzenegger is expected to attend.

"Anderino" Wallgreen and Lolly "Lol" Winstone are expected to go through with plans to exchange vows July 15th at the Solar Temple of the Ancient Astronauts in Palo Alto.

Travis "Dude" Hutch (no relation to Starsky) has asked Anne Scalappi for her hand in holy matrimony. Rumor has it, the ceremony will be available in MPEG-2 format on Pay-Per-View, after Travis closed a multi-million dollar deal with the Japanese.

Dr. Cliff Read and Darlene Mannes (of the old-money Greenwich Mannes) will default to a common-law marriage after 7 years of continuous, California co-habitation this Spring. Ms. Mannes intends to seek immediate annulment from The Pope.

This artist's rendition of the Fatass' current love interest (not drawn to scale) captures the heart of the marriage that is his love of bitchin hardware. Each keystroke, each mouseclick, heightens the yearning and leaves each day sunnier than the last. Fatass intends to bring his lawsuit demanding legal recognition of cyber-human marriage before California's Supreme Court this month. Johnnie Cochran is on retainer.

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