Letter 02.03.95


From ml########@####.###.### Thu Feb  9 05:56:44 1995
Date:    Thu, 9 Feb 95 14:53:16 DST
From: ml########@####.###.COM
To: ASSMASTER@fatass.com

Hello ASSMASETER,
here is Marco from Rome Italy.
I'm courious about you.
Where do you get all the pictures amd movie ??
May I login via FTP to mget the pictures ???
What is you business ???
Thank you for your pictures they make me happy during my work...

Ciao da Roma
                      Marco
		      (M##############.###.COM)


Response from fatass.com

Dear friend of fatass.com,

We're curious about you, too. Honest. (one-eye-squint)

As for harmless pictures (the ones we use to spoof on people we know), we scan by hand and edit. We pore over each pixel, agonizing over palette defaults and GIF standards. But you're probably not talking about THOSE pictures, are you? You mean those-- OTHER ones.

The pictures and "movies" (as you all-too-kindly describe them) are posted in UUENCODED format to USENET newsgroups. In their infinite wisdom, JP and D-Nice have decided to employ a utility called AUB, that automatically decodes and builds the pictures on the newsgroups. This is done daily, while you sleep, Marco, or pick olives, or whatever you do.

In the morning, the dew still cool on blades of grass, several megs of new Dirty Pix are there, steamy and stinky and waiting for you. How's that for Yankee Ingenuity? It's no wonder we won all the important wars.

We'd be kinda crazy if we set up fatass.com for public FTPing of images. Hordes of pimple-faced teenage guys would swallow huge chunks of bandwidth, devouring precious network resources in their desperate search for salient grit. We'll keep it tricky, though anyone willing to read their Netscape manual will find they can transfer the images to local disk, anyway. RTM, Marco.

Our "business"? JP and D-Nice are selling used cars, but only until they can get their acting careers moving. Optimal is a hairdresser at "Kenneth's of London". TA hunts big game, and only kills what he can eat. Anderino is currently MIA. Me, the Ass? My secret, Marco, eyes-only, and it isn't pretty.

In closing, we're glad our pictures make you happy during work. We won't venture a guess as to which pictures, but we'll endeavor to keep putting them out there. Send me a check for three thousand dollars (what's that, about nine trillion lire?) and we'll talk personal FTP access...

assmaster@fatass.com


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